


Love Me For All The Right Reasons

by Daisy1600



Category: Lucha Underground
Genre: Asexual Character, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Funny Uber Driver, Konnan is Ace af, Love, M/M, PJ and Johnny are idiotic besties, PJ is one nasty mofo, Puma/Trevor is Konnan's son, Romance, Speed Dating, lots of talk about sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisy1600/pseuds/Daisy1600
Summary: What happens when Johnny's best friend PJ forces him to attend a gay speed dating event.Also, what happens when Rey forces Konnan to attend a speed dating event and he happens to have the most beautiful son in the world, Trevor, who Johnny may or may not fall head over heels in love with.





	1. No Hard Feelings

Johnny was minding his own business, just typing away on his laptop when all of a sudden there was the sound of his apartment door being opened and then shut loudly. He had to let out a loud sigh at the knowledge that he'd never get to finish writing out the email he needed to send to his casting director by noon.  
It was eleven. 

There was only one person in this world who had a spare key to his apartment, and that would be his annoying giddy best friend PJ. Yep, no way in hell he was getting that email typed out and sent this afternoon. With that in mind, he gently shut the device just as his bedroom door was flung open. 

"Oh, you don't have to stop what you're doing, buddy. I just dropped by to.." his friend trailed off as he plopped down into the chair beside his bed he was currently sitting up on top of. 

"To do what?.." he urged. "I just.. I _really_ have to get this email finished up in the next hour or else.. someone else might end up getting the part." 

"Johnny, you two already emailed back and forth discussing the possibility of you coming in for a callback, right? And if so, he's not just gonna give the part to some random ass guy all because you took fifteen minutes too long to reply to a freaking email. Like seriously, who emails anymore?" 

"People who don't like giving out their phone numbers, that's who. Look, Peej, I don't mean to be rude, but can you give me a minute or twenty to finish this up before you tell me all about your diabolical plan to rule the earth you have written down on that sheet of paper crumpled up in your hand?" Johnny said, gesturing toward the balled up piece of paper likely left forgotten in his friend's hand. 

This wasn't good. This was not good at all. If PJ had a.. an _idea_ , it probably involved making him look like a complete buffoon. 

"Yeah, yeah. Totally. I will give you time to finish writing that- that email.." 

"Thank you," Johnny sighed out, opening his laptop once more to stare at the screen for about thirty seconds before the stare coming from his friend became too god damn much to handle and he shut it with just a little too much force. "Ugh, fine. What is it?" 

The smug smirk on his friend's face made him want to wipe it right off him with a Mr. clean sponge and some Clorox. 

"Well... uh, I kinda sorta found out about this speed dating event going on at the-" 

"Wait a second- did you just say _speed dating?_ " Johnny asked, appalled by the notion of having to mingle when all he really needed at the moment was to focus on the career aspect of his life and not the romance department. 

"Yes, weren't you listening? God, you really gotta learn to keep up with me here, man." Said PJ. "Anyways, there's this speed dating e-" 

Johnny suddenly got to his feet, getting his best friend to do the same before he began pushing him out the door to his bedroom and over to his apartment's door. "Get the actual fuck out of my house, PJ. I mean, I seriously love you, man, but get the fuck out." 

PJ dug his heels into the carpeted flooring to try and stop Johnny from pushing him any closer to the door. "Oh, c'mon! You haven't even let me finish explaining yet." 

"And I'm not going to, so get _out_ of my apartment before I- before I bite you."

"You wouldn't dare." 

"Oh, but I think I would. So why don't you just leave, come back later tonight, and _not_ force me to go to a fucking speed dating event. That sound good to you, Peej?" 

His friend squirmed beneath the hard look directed at him. Johnny kept him pinned under his stare as he reached around him to open his apartment door. 

The longer his friend fidgeted and made no move to leave, the more suspicious it got Johnny feeling. 

"Wait- do _you_ want to go to this event? Is that why you're trying to force me to go?" He asked, realizing he's right when PJ's face began to burn bright red.  
"Oh my god, you really want to go speed dating." 

"I.. I don't wanna go by myself. I'll be too nervous. And besides, you haven't been on a date since.. since you took a break from the wrestling scene to pursue a career in acting. It's been like, what, two maybe three years?" 

"It's been a while, yeah." Johnny sighed, giving in and closing the door. He walked over to his couch and plopped down on it, grabbing a random throw pillow and pulling it close to his chest at the same time as his friend sat beside him and pulled his knees close to his chest. He looked to his friend and had to let out another sigh.  
"It's just.. after how my last relationship ended, I haven't exactly felt all that motivated to get back out there and, y'know, be out in the field again. Allow myself to be vulnerable and.. risk getting my heart broken again. God, if that's not the gayest thing I've ever said in my life.." 

PJ placed a comforting hand on his forearm and gave it a light squeeze. Love has always been a bit of a sensitive subject for Johnny. Hasn't gotten much easier with age, as so many people have told him it would. Fucking liars, the lot of them. 

"I've heard you say much gayer things before, man. Especially when you're drunk and I ask you about your love life. I've- I've honestly heard it all.. Uh, anyways, I totally get where you're coming from. I'm scared too. But we don't have to be afraid, we'll be there supporting each other. Hell, maybe we'll even find a guy we like. Who knows. We'll never know unless we try. So whaddya say, Johnny? You gonna be a man and go find yourself a man, or are you gonna be alone forever? 

A prolonged sigh escaped Johnny's parted lips once more. "When and where is it?" 

"I'm glad you asked, buddy." PJ smiled in victory, passing the crumpled up piece of paper to him. He took a moment to straighten it out before attempting to read the fine print. 

It was being held in a fairly nice four star hotel in north Hollywood on Friday afternoon. He was going to tell his friend it sounded like actual _hell_ , but that was before he read the bottom of the flyer where it said free snacks and drinks would be provided. 

"Well, I'm game." He announced, handing the flyer back over to his friend. 

"Oh, you can keep that one. I've got another in my pocket." PJ emphasized this by patting his right hipbone where his slightly bulky pocket is located. 

"So that's what that was.. I was wondering for a second there why your.. pocket looked so stuffed." 

"You thought I was happy to see you, eh?" PJ laughed, gently nudging his friend in the ribs. 

"Haven't thought 'bout it since college, Peej. So don't you go getting cocky all of a sudden." 

"I was just messing with you, dude. I mean, you are quite the looker, but.." his friend trailed off, laughing into his hand. 

"But what?" Johnny prompted his friend, lightly shoving his shoulder with a hand. 

"But.. after we figured things out back in the day, I figured out that we're better off as friends. Remember? We came to that conclusion together? Talked about it over Chinese takeout in our dorm. Ring any bells?.."

Now it was Johnny's turn to laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. Just wanted to see how you'd react. You gotta admit your reaction was pretty damn funny."

"Shut up, man." PJ grumbled good-naturedly. There were no hard feelings between the two of them. They merely experimented a little with each other in their college years to figure themselves out, and promptly ending things when they realized that yes, they liked dick, and also that they didn't feel anything more than friendship for the other. "Ah, I gotta hit the gym, buddy. See ya later for dinner at yours?" 

Johnny watched his friend get to his feet, releasing a loud puff of air when he cracked his back a couple of times. 

"Pizza?" Johnny suggested from his spot on the couch. 

"Ugh, we had that last time, bro. And if memory serves me right, I left that night with a bad case of the shits. I will literally eat _anything_ but pizza. I would even eat a pig's anus to avoid eating it. Like, that's how much I don't fucking want any." 

Ignoring his friend's gross comment, Johnny tried thinking of some other food that he could order over the phone, or even on his laptop, and have delivered to his apartment. 'Cause there was no way in hell he'd be stable enough to leave the comfort of his home and interact with people after PJ had roped him into to attending a literal speed dating event. 

"Uh.. we could have Chinese instead, if you'd prefer that." 

"Finally, something I can eat without wanting to lay on the floor and die from stomach cramps and a never ending cycle of farts." 

The image alone made Johnny's nose crinkle in disgust. "Dude, I know we're like as close as could be, but please keep that shit to yourself. It's just.. it's just a little TMI." 

"Too much indigestion?" 

"No, Peej. Too much information. I don't need to know you spend an hour on the toilet after eating pizza, and I most certainly don't need to see a picture of it either. So stop sending me them!"

"I'm just worried about my poor stomach, man. And for your information, I won't stop sending them. They'll be sent to you by the dozen. The bakers dozen, that is." 

"Not only are you disgusting, but I think you're also lactose intolerant." Johnny said as his friend began heading for the door. 

"I am _not_. It's probably just.. Maybe it's the.. Fuck, I think you're right." PJ said as he opened the door and stepped outside of it to turn and face his friend once again. 

"Sorry man, but I think you are." PJ's whole body seemed to droop at the revelation. "Have fun at the gym though." 

"Yeah, yeah. You finish up that email and get casted to be the Herculean god you are." 

"Right.. thanks, Peej." Johnny mumbled to his lap, glancing up at the last second to catch a glimpse of the sad smile his friend was directing his way. 

"Don't worry too much, Johnny. You'll totally get the part. I mean, who else has the abs to play a literal god?" 

"I'm gonna have to take a wild guess and say at least half of the other guys who auditioned for the part.." 

"Yeah, but think about it man; how many of _them_ got callbacks?" 

"I'm really not sure, but I'm gonna try to be optimistic about my chances of landing the role." 

"Atta boy," PJ smiled happily this time. "I'm leaving for _real_ now, so I'll see you later, buddy." 

Johnny sent his friend a slight wave, waiting until the door clicked shut to grip the pillow in his arms even tighter and curl up into a ball on his side. 

Friday was going to be one _long_ day.


	2. Carnal Needs

Konnan was laying on his settee, limbs stretched out across its leather upholstery as he munched on potato chips by the handful. The novela playing on the TV wasn't all that entertaining, as he'd already seen the episode no less than eight times, so when his patio door opened and he heard quiet footsteps padding across the floor, he knew it could only be one of the two people who often times enter his house without so much as a warning text. 

It couldn't be his son Trevor, as he would've said _something_ by now. So that meant it had to be his best friend Rey. That guy only ever came around to drag him into doing shit he really didn't want to do. Example: last week, the guy dragged him along on a double date with his boyfriend Azteca. It was nothing short of torture, as Konnan was single as could be, and was third wheeling the entire night. Almost throwing up when they stopped by Johnny Rockets and ordered two milkshakes, Konnan having a chocolate one to himself while his best friend and the guy's boyfriend shared one. The fact that they were sharing one wasn't the problem here. The problem was that they had put two straws in the pink shake, both leaning across the table to sip it at the same time and giggling like mad to the point where they had to take breaks.  
It was **horrifying**.

He wasn't homophobic, nor was he jealous of them. It's more that he was.. uncomfortable with PDA. That, and he's never been on a date in his life. Well, he went on a date back in junior year of high school, but he skipped out on her halfway through the movie they went to see due to being utterly terrified and uncomfortable. His son is adopted, and he had never been happier about anything in his fifty something years of being alive. Not even that time he got the big promotion at the office. 

He just.. he was immensely grateful that he didn't have to find a mate to have a beautiful baby boy. All it took was several background checks and many months of waiting to get approved to adopt. He'd went to the adoption agency, and the second his eyes landed on Trevor he knew he'd found the love of his life. His pride and joy. It took a few more weeks to get the adoption approved so child services could ensure the baby would have a safe and happy home to live in. And when he finally had his baby, his mijo in his arms.. he felt as though he was complete. 

Trevor was now twenty-eight and just as single as his old man. He seemed to be happy with the way his life was panning out, so Konnan didn't feel the need to interfere and set him up with a respectful young man. He'd find love when he found it. That, and he was.. a little overprotective of him, as he was his only child. He's had a few boyfriends over the years, three of which he actually got to meet. He followed his son on Instagram and every other social media platform he had an account for to keep track of his whereabouts and the men in his life. His son didn't live too far away from home and visited at least once a week, so he asked about his personal life and relationship status once in a while. But other than that, he didn't push it. Trevor was happy and healthy and that's really all that mattered to him. 

"Come any closer and I'll break your leg with my cane." He said, voice cutting through the garbled noise of the novela playing out before his eyes. 

"Hey, Konnan! Sorry 'bout.. uh, that date I dragged you along the other day. I didn't think you'd be third wheeling quite _that_ hard." Rey came around to the front of the settee, sitting down beside him before grabbing the remote off the coffee table and turning the TV off. 

Konnan was _so_ done with his shit by this point, and threw a handful of potato chips at him. The crinkle-cut kind of course. His friend shrugged a shoulder dismissively and began eating the chips off his lap. 

"I should kick you outta my house right now, but you've already claimed your spot. So why don't you just come out and tell me what the hell you want." Konnan deadpanned, not making a move to brush all the crumbs off his shirt or even sit up. He was the literal definition of a mess. I'm sure if you opened a dictionary and searched for the word, there would be a picture of him. 

"Well.. you know that speed dating event I met Az at three years ago?" Rey questioned, slowing down the pace in which he ate the chips that lay atop the crotch of his faded blue jeans. 

"Yeah, I remember. What of it?" Konnan dug a hand deep into the pits of his family sized bag of chips, eyes never once leaving those of his best friend as he ate a handful. 

"I kinda sorta signed you up for the same thing.. And before you start yelling at me, just know that there's free drinks and snacks!" 

Konnan squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his teeth, and crushed a handful of chips in his fist. Crumbs flying everywhere. "You did **what?** " he growled. 

That got Rey to stand up and back up a couple of feet, hands held up in a way that told him to 'calm down' and not kill him. 

Konnan sat up and got to his feet, hand blindly searching for his metal cane of death. 

"C-calm down, Konnan.. it's only for one afternoon. You aren't even obligated to go on an actual date with any of the guys. You just- you only have to spend a measly five minutes talking to them, and if you don't like them, you don't have to call them." 

Konnan was now standing a mere two feet away from him, eyes narrowed dangerously, and his hand holding the cane ready to strike at any given moment. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take your head off right this second." 

"You- you could meet someone you have a real, genuine connection with." 

"What makes you think I _want_ to go out with anybody? When have you ever seen me lusting after a man or a woman?" 

Rey had to take a moment to think **hard** before he could open his mouth and make coherent words come out. "I.. uh, well, now that you mention it, I haven't.. I know you've talked about how you don't really feel any sort of.. pull toward either sex, but it's kind of sad seeing you go through life all on your own. And I don't think I've ever heard you talk about having a crush, or having been on a first date, so I just wanted to see if you'd.. like it. Even if you don't find yourself a boyfriend, maybe you'll make a friend or two. I know some guys who've gone and made some of their best friends to this day. Would it really hurt to try?" 

Even though Konnan was still _fuming_ , he decided to take pity on Rey's poor soul and lower his weapon. Now using it to help stabilize himself.  
"You do know that I've never had.." he swallowed harshly before continuing, "Sex before, right? Trevor is adopted and.. and I've only ever had one kiss in my entire life. And it was from some gross little girl in first grade who snuck up on me during recess." 

"I.. did not know that. But, uh, thanks for the mental image. Or lack thereof." His friend chuckled nervously, taking deep breaths of air to try and calm himself down. It's kind of scary -terrifying- to be on Konnan's bad side. "Like, I obviously knew Trevor was adopted, but I didn't know that other stuff.." 

"Mhmm.." Konnan blinked, waiting for the younger man to continue trying to force him to attend the lame speed dating event. 

"It's being held at a nice four star hotel in north Hollywood this Friday, the same one I went to three years ago when I met Az." 

"I need a good reason to leave the comfort of my home to endure god knows how many hours of pure torture, Rey." 

"Free drinks, free snacks. You might make a friend, or even a _friend_ , if you know what I'm saying." Rey said, a devilish smirk appearing on his face. A smirk Konnan wished to beat off of his face using the iron puma statue on the top of his cane. But he wouldn't do that. As mushy and disgusting as it sounds, he cares about him. He's his best friend and only support system he's got going for him other than his Sunshine, Trevor. He let out a loud sigh and gestured for his friend to follow him back over to the settee. He miraculously remembered to brush all of the crumbs and crushed up chips onto the floor to clean up later before allowing himself to free fall onto the object and nearly fall right off the back of it since there was no god damn _back_ to the couch. It was like sitting in a psychiatrist's office every time he went to watch TV and stuff himself full of chips, sometimes drinking a beer to help wash everything down. 

Rey followed suit and plopped down a foot or so away from him, being careful not to overshoot and fall to the floor on his back. 

"I _might_ go. But only on one condition." 

"And what might that be?" Asked a suddenly enthusiastic Rey. 

"You never mention sex and me in the same sentence ever again, _and_ you don't set me up on-" he took a moment to swallow around the sudden dryness of his throat. "On dates ever again. Capiche?" 

"That's actually two con-" 

" **Capiche?** " Konnan practically growled. 

"Fine. If you don't end up finding yourself a man, and thanking me profusely, then I will.. leave your love life alone. For good." 

"Thank you-" 

"But that doesn't mean I can't meddle with Trevor's.." Rey sang gleefully, fully deserving the deadpan stare he got from the bitter old man in response to his teasing.

"Look, Rey.. I don't want you messin' with my kid's love life. He's still young and has plenty of time to figure things out on his own. Whether that be finding himself a respectful young man who'll treat him right, or being happily single for however long he wants, that's up to him. I've stayed out of his business up until this point, and I think you should do the same." 

"Damn, Konnan.. That- that was some really good advice right there. You should like write a book or something on the topic of love from an outsiders perspective. Let people know that it's okay to- to not rush things, and take your time to find someone who'll treat you right. I wish I had you around in high school to slap me across the face when I had some meaningless hookup just to have the experience instead of waiting for that special someone to come along and sweep me off my feet." Rey let out a sigh, likely looking back on his past conquests and realizing what little they actually meant to him, before continuing. "Anyways, uh.. I'm kind of his uncle, so I feel like it's sort of my job to meddle around in his love life and set him up or something. But if you really want me to stay out of it.. I'll give him till Christmas to find himself a beau before I interfere. Turns out Azteca's got some attractive looking buds from work, if you know what I'm getting at." 

"Oh, I know what you're 'getting at', Rey. But looks mean nothin' if the guys just a big, slimy douchebag who wants my baby to warm his bed at night and leave at seven in the mornin' before he himself wakes up to start his miserable day of work."

"Man, you really do give good advice. Even if you don't fully understand the meaning of hooking up with someone." 

"How 'bout this: I explain why it's better to hold off on.. carnal needs and wait until that special someone comes along to give away your precious flower, or heart. And you help me understand why it is humans feel the need to put themselves through so much emotional hurt and pain, and.. and have casual sex." Konnan suggested, actually looking interested in the mentioned topics. Wow, it seems as though he really did want to try and understand his son as well as other humans a little bit better. It would probably do himself and Rey some good to talk about everything and see things from two totally different perspectives. 

"Azteca's got work till five, so I'm game." The younger man broke into a smile, pulling his feet up onto the couch and getting into a more comfortable position. He looked genuinely interested in getting to know more about his friend, and his views on the topic of romance, love, and sex. 

Both men grabbed onto a throw pillow and pulled them close to their chests as Rey got started on explaining his personal experience with romance, love, sex, and his views on the topics. Konnan interjecting every once in a while to ask a question or voice his own personal opinion on something the younger man had said.


	3. The Coyote Killer

"C'mon Johnny, don't back out now. I swear to God- if we exit this God damn Uber and you go running for the hills.." 

"You'll what?" Johnny questioned his friend, receiving a sharp intake of breath and glare in response. 

"I'll _bite_ you. Yeah, that's what I'll do." 

Their bickering started the night before when PJ drove to Johnny's apartment to help him pick out an outfit for the social event, and continued on into the morning. He even brought three or so dozen shirts and pants on hangers in garment bags for Johnny to help him decide on. Basically, they were the gayest they've ever been in their entire lives. It was just one giant, gay sleepover.. 

 

_It was approaching one o'clock in the morning when the sound of his apartment's doorknob being jiggled cut through the quiet of his humble abode. Knowing it was his friend who likely had his arms full of clothing, he got up from his spot on the couch and headed for the door, opening it just as PJ began knocking on it. Which didn't exactly end well, as the man fell into his chest and caused Johnny to stumble backwards a foot or so while holding onto his friend's arms and trying not to let him fall to the ground and injure himself the night before their.. day of drinking and mingling._

_"Woah, Peej, you okay?" Johnny voiced his concern for his friend as soon as he'd caught his footing and they were both on stable feet._

_"I'd feel a lot better if you'd take some of this crap from me," his friend muttered in reply._

_"Oh, uh.. yeah. Sorry about that." He took a step toward his visitor and took two of the large garment bags with at least nine hangers sticking out the hole at the top, and gently set them down on the couch. Hands less full of crap, PJ groaned in relief and dropped the rest of his stuff on top of the coach, effectively blocking off every available cushion one could rest their tired ass on top of. "Yep, just block off the entire thing.. It's not like I'm exhausted or anything."_

_"You can be quiet, Johnny. I literally had to drive all the way over here while my eyes were half-closed. I nearly ran over a fucking _coyote_! There's not supposed to be any wolves living in California!"_

_"Well, it's technically more of a dog than a wolf- wait, did you say your eyes were _half closed?_ Dude, you didn't have to risk death to help me pick out an outfit for tomorrow." _

_"Uh, I think you and I both know that isn't true. Plus, _I_ also need help picking out what to wear. I can't look too easy or too uptight, too sloppy or too clean cut, you know what I mean? Anyways, helping you and getting help from you was totally worth the whole 'nearly killing an animal' thing." _

_Johnny had to shake his head at how utterly insane his best friend could be so late at night. "Yeah, I get you man. I also don't wanna look like.. any of those things you just mentioned. So let's just strip down to the bare necessities and get things over with."_

_PJ caught onto the accidental innuendo and took complete advantage of it as he began to strip off his own t-shirt. "Heh, reminds me of our, uh.. our college days, Baloo."_

_"Seriously, Peej? That is- that is not at all how I meant for that to come out.." Johnny said as he stripped off his clothes on the way to his bedroom where his closet stuffed full of crap he never wears is located. He was down to just his boxer briefs by the time he made it to the room lit only by his bedside lamp. And even then it was dim as fuck and he could barley see a damn thing._

_Silently apologizing to all his neighbors, he turned on his bedroom light and began rifling through his closet. It only took PJ a minute or two to come barreling into the room wearing a full outfit that was much too fancy for the occasion._

_"Gross, how deep a v is that shirt, and why do you even own it?" His friend made a gagging sound, pulling the very unattractive shirt from off the hanger in his hands and tossing it into the garbage can that lay beside his bedside table._

_"Well, I must agree that it belongs there with all the rest of the dirty tissues in the waste bin.."_

_"Dude, that's disgusting. It's one thing to dispose of.. used tissues that way, but a whole other thing entirely to acknowledge it and casually mention it in conversation." Said his suddenly nauseous looking friend._

_He hadn't realized he'd made an innuendo until PJ made such a big deal out of it. Guess it's kinda like how he feels about the guy sending him pictures of his shit and complaining about how stinky it smelled and how hot it burned when coming out of his rectum._

_"That's- that's not what I meant to say, but it's not untrue either. I meant.. I meant that there were also tissues from my nose in there. Filled with snot and not-"_

_"I'm gonna cut you off right there, 'cause I can't fucking look at you right now. Like, dude, don't go talking about your late night habits and.. and bodily fluids to me when you're barely decent. It's just not appropriate."_

_"So what I'm hearing is that it would be if I were wearing a pair of pants?"_

_"That's- Okay, maybe if you were fully dressed and we were in a crowded diner it would be. But you're basically naked, standing in a dimly lit room with your best friend, and talking about.. your Johnson. So.. yeah, not cool."_

_"I didn't even bring my 'Johnson' into this, _you_ did. So let's just drop this so you can help me pick out a damn outfit already. Sound good to you, you damn perv?" _

_"Sounds great, Mr. Never takes out the sticky garbage and wears v-necks that practically go down to your belly button." PJ said, pausing for a minute before chewing his ear off some more. "How's my outfit look? Is it too much for some cocktails and mild flirting?"_

_Still rifling through his closet, Johnny turned his head to inspect his friend's attire once more. "Definitely too fancy, man. When did you even get that suit? Looks new."_

_"Got it a couple of weeks ago for Victor and his fiancés upcoming wedding." PJ replied as he gently pushed Johnny to the side and began taking random things out of his moderately sized closet and tossing them into separate piles._

_"Ya know, I knew I was forgetting something.." Johnny mumbled under his breath. He soon realized how messy his room was becoming from his friend's.. organization tactics. "Is it really necessary to trash my entire room picking out one outfit?"_

_"That's cute, you think I'm only picking out one.. No, man, I'm mentally pairing together six outfits and tossing each article of clothing into the pile on the left."_

_Chancing a glance at the growing piles, Johnny realized how quickly the both of them were growing. The one on the right was significantly larger than the one that sat adjacent to it. "Uh.. then what's the one on the right for?"_

_"Oh, that? That piles the giveaway pile. I'm sorry, man, but those deep v's are totally out of style and unflattering on every body shape imaginable. Plus, I think most of them don't even belong to you.."_

_Great, more reminders of his past with bad dating experiences and meaningless hookups that ended in the other guy leaving before he woke up, and his shirt mysteriously ending up in the wash with his, never to be returned or worn again. He had completely forgotten about all of his accidental souvenirs that'd somehow managed to pile up in the back of his closet over the years. Last time he hooked up with someone must've been.. what? Six months ago? Well, anyway, it was long enough ago that he was beginning to feel sexually frustrated and unsatisfied.  
Though, at the same time he was glad to be focusing on his career and not some stranger possibly stealing from him as he slept soundly a good foot away from them. It wasn't just that either, he also felt as though he'd reached that point in his life where he was ready to settle down and possibly even consider putting a ring on it somewhere down the road if things panned out the way he hoped they would. And maybe, just _maybe_ he'd meet a guy who was perfectly imperfect for him at the kinda lame sounding speed dating event he was being forced to attend the following morning. Even if he didn't meet one person who he'd even consider going on one date with, he wouldn't cry over it or anything. He'd get over it and carry on with his.. hopefully up and coming career in acting. _

_"Right, right. I knew that.." Johnny mumbled, approaching the pile on the left and grabbing the first shirt he saw._

_"Oh my God.." he heard come from behind him._

_"What? Are my underwear see-through or something?"_

_"No, not that. I just realized none of those shirts are yours.. I've never seen you wear a deep-v, and they're all different sizes."_

_"Don't tell me you don't have a collection of shirts from your one night stands too. 'Cause I've seen at least four shirts in your room that don't belong to you."_

_"I guess I do, but I usually throw them out after a couple of weeks," mumbled a slightly embarrassed PJ._

_"So you've somehow slept with four guys in the last couple of weeks and for some reason haven't gotten around to throwing them out?"_

_"Yes.. that is exactly what I'm saying, Jonathan."_

_"I'm calling bullshit," Johnny muttered before slipping the plain black t-shirt over his long mane of hair that could really use a washing._

_"You'd be wrong." His friend replied before a balled up pair of jeans hit him in the back._

_"Quit denying it, Peej. Just like everyone else in this world, you want to be held close at night. You want someone to care about you romantically and.. yeah."_

_"I never said I didn't want someone to hold me at night and care about me as more than a friend.. Just sayin' I don't collect souvenirs like some weirdo tourist with a fanny pack."_

_"Oh please, you own at least three of those things." Johnny said, jumping up and down to try and get the super skinny jeans to go over his calves. He must've bought them before he started wrestling full time._

_"For your information, I actually have _two_. Three would be way too excessive." _

_"And bringing half your closet to my apartment isn't?"_

_"Exactly," PJ looked at him, eyes trained on the insanely tiny jeans pooled around his ankles. "Yikes, those are not cuttin' it, man. But don't worry, we'll find you something that wasn't made for the prepubescent body of a twelve year old boy."_

_Johnny let out a breathy chuckle, yanking the jeans off his feet and tossing them into the donation pile. "I think I did laundry at the place around the corner one time, and I guess my stuff got mixed in with some random kids'."_

_"Good to know those weren't something you just, like, bought or whatever." His friend said as he continued rifling through his closet._

_That gave him the perfect opportunity to escape the room and grab his phone out from under the mountain of clothes that lay atop the couch. It was nearing two o'clock in the morning and he was _so_ done with PJ's shit. So completely and utterly done that he picked out a shirt and pants for his friend before grabbing a couple small piles of clothing and making himself a nice bed on the carpeted floor. _

_He was out cold the second his head hit his makeshift pillow. He was sound asleep until the grating sound of his naggy best friend's voice rang throughout his ears and left him feeling grumpy as could be at- six in the fucking morning. Damn, PJ really was taking the whole speed dating thing seriously. From outfits to mode of transportation, the guy had it all planned out._

_"If you're gonna sleep, at least do it in your bed." His friend said, extending a hand to help him to his feet. He then went on to trundle toward his bedroom that looked to have blown up with mountains of clothing. He ignored the mess for the time being in favor of flopping down onto his big comfy bed he wished he had someone to help fill in the extra space with._

_He doesn't mean a friend, a casual hookup, or even his best friend. He wants a romantic partner to share his bed with him and keep him warm at night when they stay up until three talking about how their days were. He can talk about wrestling and acting, and he'll hang onto their every word when they speak of the details of their job and personal life. Even if they're just a janitor at a high school, or an employee at Subway, he'd listen to their every word and cherish their time spent togethe-_

_His train of thought was suddenly cut off by the feeling of another body flopping down on his bed and nearly sending him over the edge of it. "Dude, what the hell?" He grumbled, rolling back toward the center of the bed where his idiotic best friend decided to spread his limbs across._

_"Sorry 'bout that, man. Just thought you could use a friend since you look like you watched your puppy get run over by a truck."_

_"Do I really look that bad, Peej?"_

_"Not bad, but more, uh.. _depressed_."_

_"It feels like the older I get, the more lonely I feel when someone warms my bed for a night only to leave before I wake up, man. I just.. at night is when I'm alone with my thoughts and- and I realize that I want to settle down and possibly get married one day. I don't know about kids, but I do know I wouldn't mind it if my partner wanted some little rascals running around."_

_"Damn, when you put it like that it makes your life sound really, really fucking sad and terrible. But don't worry, Johnny, we'll find you a man."_

_Johnny was feeling conflicted about whether or not he should tell his friend off or just go the hell to sleep, when he felt an arm being slung over his middle, and warm breath on the back of his neck._

_"Dude- what the hell are doing?" He snapped, turning to glare at PJ._

_"You're not the only one who gets cold and lonely at night.." was his friend's meek reply. Sure, they've shared beds before when one of them has slept over at the other's apartment, or when the other was going through a bad breakup and needed someone to comfort them, or hell, even when they were just bored. But after Johnny's little speech, and the fact that they were going speed dating tomorrow, he did _not_ feel like spooning his best friend while he was wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. _

_"Did you seriously not hear what I just said? Whatever, just- I'll get under the sheets and you stay above them."_

_"But I'll be cold!" Whined his idiodic best friend._

_"Fine, we can cuddle tonight since we have to wake up in a couple of hours. But you have to shut up."_

_"I feel like you're not angry at me, but more at your whole living situation. And it's not very healthy to take out your anger and frustrations on your fr-"_

_"PJ, I swear to-"_

_"Shutting up now, jeez." His friend said before crawling under the sheets and leeching onto him. Well, it wasn't too bad having to cuddle close to his best friend since forever. The guy was wearing a shirt, and some very soft flannel pajama pants, so he didn't feel like they were crossing _too_ many lines. Though, if the guy wasn't fully clothed and as close to him as he was, they'd have some more issues to -argue over- discuss._

 

"I know I'd bite you, but I don't think you'd have the guts to bite _me_ , Peej." Johnny replied, making no move to exit the Prius they were being dropped off in. 

"I guess you're right, but I'd sure as hell want to. We are here to eat, drink, have fun, and find ourselves a man. Hopefully." 

The hand resting atop Johnny's knee both comforted and made him feel even more nervous to be getting back in the field. He'd be having five minute 'dates' with multiple men, having to give each and every one of them a fighting chance at winning over his affections. The thought alone was God damn **terrifying**.

"How are you so damn calm about everything? I'm practically shitting myself just sitting here, waiting for my impending doom." 

"You think _I'm_ calm? Dude, my hands are shaking like my grandmother's when she was diagnosed with carpal tunnel! And her low blood sugar sure isn't helping either." 

Now that Johnny thought about it, the hand resting atop his knee was a bit shakier than usual. "Then I guess we're gonna shit ourselves together. Ruin our nice clothes that took hours for you to pick out. Thanks for that, by the way." 

"We can.. we can take a bathroom break and- and shit out all our anxiety. We can do this. We _are_ going to do this. Maybe we'll get liquid courage and not die. Who knows. We'll never know unless we try." 

Johnny let out a long held sigh, placing his hand atop his best friend's and giving it a light squeeze before releasing it. He was about to open his mouth and say.. _anything_ when the voice of their Uber driver abruptly cut him off. 

"Are you two gonna get out and actually try this whole dating on speed thing or just give up on life completely and date each other instead?.." said the young man at the wheel of the car. 

Johnny made eye contact with him in the rearview mirror, swallowing harshly when the guy raised his eyebrows at him. To outsiders, they must seem like they're, mmm.. more than just best friends. And the thought of them getting back together after well over a _decade_ of being just friends is.. is almost comical. They haven't hooked up since their very early college days, and things would be best if they stayed that way. They've been with each other through thick and thin, and they would continue to support each other as they have been since forever. As friends. 

So yeah, he was a little weirded out by the notion of being with PJ in a romantic setting slash relationship. 

"Nah, man. We're just friends. Best friends, actually. And it's, uh.. speed dating, not.. not dating on speed." Said Johnny, who was already unbuckling and preparing for his departure. 

"Like, you've already paid me, so how about you two get out and find yourselves men who aren't each other?.." the driver said, turning in his seat to look at PJ and Johnny head-on this time. 

"Ever heard about anxiety? 'Cause we're feeling a shit ton of it right now and would really appreciate it if you were more understanding." Said a huffy PJ, built arms crossed in front of his chest. 

"Stop, you'll wrinkle it," Johnny mumbled, pulling his friend's arms away from his nice dress shirt that was a quarter of the way unbuttoned. "And, uh.. I'm sorry about making you wait around for so long, Mr. Uber driver. Just didn't think we'd be this nervous is all." 

Still, Johnny and PJ made no move to get out of the car and enter the snazzy hotel. The event wasn't set to begin for another half hour, so they'd be stalling for as long as they possibly could. 

"Look," the man started, "It may be the stupidest, most cliché thing you've ever heard in your many, _many_ decades of being alive; but just be yourselves and don't sweat it." 

Johnny had to take a moment to breathe deeply and let his driver's words really sink in and take affect on him. Everyone he's ever come across in his life has given him similar advice, but he never truly took it into consideration until now. Maybe he'll find someone who'll pique his interest, maybe he won't. He'll never know unless he gets his ass out there, gets his name tag, and just.. acts natural and shows his true, genuine self. He needs to be himself. 

"Thanks, man. Crazy as it sounds, I think that's actually what I needed I hear. Say, what's your name? I don't think I caught it." Said Johnny, who was now much closer to the car door than he was a moment ago. He actually felt like he was ready to do this. To get himself back out there and _try_ to find himself a nice, respectable man who'll support him through life just as he'd support them. 

"Jacob. But spelled with a k." Their driver, who he now knew to be Jakob, said. 

"Well, it was.. nice to be in your company, Jacob with a k." Johnny had to let out a nervous chuckle after being so anxious and scared for the past.. four days. He looked to his friend, giving him a _look_. "PJ, do you have something to say?" 

"That I'm still gonna shit myself out of sheer nervousness?" 

" _No,_ " Johnny muttered, lightly nudging his friend's foot with his. "Thank Jakob with a k." 

"I don't want to, he was being rude earlier-" 

"You know I can hear everything you guys are saying, right?" Said Jakob. 

Johnny sent his friend another _look_ , getting one that was just as exasperated in return. The long haired guy to his right groaned loudly, seeming to have finally given in. 

"Thanks for dealing with all our gay shit, Jakob with a k." 

"It's just Jakob, man. There's no need to.. forget it. Anyways, I don't mind the, uh.. 'gay shit', as I in fact have a brother who's into men," Said their fairly handsome Uber driver. "He actually has a boyfriend. Met him at a mixer at a hotel in West Hollywood last summer at an event kinda like this one, 'cept it's name was less lame. Kinda why I think you should give all this crazy shit a chance, honestly." 

"That's.. that's really great, man. Good on him." Johnny said as he opened the car door and slid out. 

"Hey, good luck with scoring yourself a date, man." Was Jakob's polite reply. 

PJ slid out the other car door and muttered unintelligible words under his breath as he sidled up next to Johnny. 

Johnny gestured for his Uber driver to lower the window, him holding out a crisp five dollar bill. "Yeah, thanks, Jakob. And again, we're sorry for holding you up, man. Have a good one." 

"Well I'm sure as hell not." Mumbled an on edge PJ. Johnny and Jakob both ignored him and continued speaking as if nothing rude had just been said. 

"Thanks.. I'm sorry, what was your name?" 

"Johnny. And this is my best bud PJ." He emphasized his words by slinging an arm around his slightly shorter friend's shoulder. 

Jakob acknowledged his words with a slight wave of the hand before he was rolling up the window and driving away. 

"Well," Johnny sighed, looking to his best friend his arm was still slung around. "Guess it's time for us to face our demise." 

That comment got PJ to slap his arm away. "Dude!" He exclaimed, "Don't say shit like that. Let's just get this over with before I shit myself." 

"What's up with you and shit?" Johnny asked as he began walking ahead of PJ, headed toward the upscale hotel where they'd hopefully meet someone worth their time and energy. 

"Well, shit is a big part of my life. And it's gonna be part of my outfit too if we don't hurry up and get this over with."

"And I thought _you_ were the one all excited over this whole speed dating thing." 

"I was, but now that we're actually here.." 

"You feel like your hearts gonna beat right out your chest?" 

There was a pause, then PJ stepped closer to Johnny to bump shoulders with him. "Yeah.. yeah, I do. But we're gonna be there together. We're gonna be in the same place, and we're gonna be fine. I hope." 

Johnny moved closer to bump him back. "Mmm.." he hummed to himself, "Yeah, and if worse comes to worst, and this thing ends up totally sucking, we can totally just leave." 

PJ merely nodded in response, not that Johnny was looking to see. They continued walking toward the building, entering it without speaking another word to the other. 

Shortly after entering the hotel they found signs directing them toward the back of the building to where the outside cantina was located. Saved them the trouble of having to ask an employee questions about where the gay mixer was being held, so that sure was a plus. 

First thing Johnny noticed as he exited the upscale hotel and entered the garden cantina area where many small tables with umbrellas were, was the abundance of men, and.. women. All the men were standing in lines at moderately sized tables with signs above them that said 'sign up station', and had three girls sitting behind them in chairs. He'd reserved his spot online three days ago, so this must be the place where you get your name tag and information sheet at. 

"Maybe we should get in different lines, Peej, try and scope out the place and the.. options separately. You know, so we don't accidentally impact each other's opinion on anyone before we actually get to meet 'em." 

"I'm gonna try my best to _not_ be offended by that," PJ replied, expression dead serious before he cracked and began laughing. He placed a hand on his friend's arm to help stabilize himself. "Oh, I was totally kidding. See ya on the flip side, Johnny-boy!" 

He knew PJ wasn't being completely, one-hundred percent truthful, as he was very nearly laying a crap in the hotel lobby not ten minutes ago. "Hey, good luck, buddy. No hard feelings if one of us finds someone and the other doesn't, alright?" 

"Right," PJ swallowed harshly, "No hard feelings. We've been together forever, and nothing, especially not some random guy with a charming smile, will take that away from us." 

Johnny patted his arm one last time before getting in line behind a tall-ish man he hopes is just as sweet as he is good looking. There's no way he's gonna talk to anyone before the actual event starts, but he can sure as hell check out what's on the market. Keeping in mind that looks aren't everything, and he's looking for a partner, not a one night stand. 

Looking around the outside area, a man who's gotta be at least fifteen to twenty years older than everyone else catches his eye. Not because he's.. particularly attractive, but because he's old and looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. Much like how he was feeling not fifteen minutes ago. He made sure to keep in mind that when he gets the chance to sit down and have a five minute conversation with the old man, he will not judge him based solely on appearance or age. He'll get a fair chance just like everybody else. 

It took much longer than he thought it would to get to the front of the line, and when he did, the.. Latina woman with long black hair loudly called him over. 

"Name?" She questioned, rapidly tapping a pen against the floral clipboard in her hands. Must be in a bit of a rush, considering the amount of guys waiting in the lines. 

"Uh.. Johnny Mundo." He replied, trying not to be nervous now that he felt he was being rushed. When he's rushed, he feels as though he can't remember anything and his mind goes blank. Meaning he nearly forgot his name. Hopefully that doesn't happen on any of his 'dates'.

"Mhmm," she hummed to herself, grabbing a sheet of paper off a large stack as well as a red and white sticker with the words 'Hello, my name is' written on it. She quickly scrawled out his name and lent over the table to press it to the fabric of his billowy, white 'pirate' slash 'stereo typical romance novel from some foreign country' shirt. Apparently, it was the only deep-v PJ found in his closet that happened to be 'socially acceptable'. "There you, go, sir. If you follow the group of gays to your left you'll find the area where someone will help get all the arrangements sorted out." 

"Thank you," Johnny gave a polite half-smile, eyes scanning the area until they landed on his best friend who was practically _drooling_ over a man with long blond hair tied in a loose bun at the back of his head. PJ noticed him noticing him staring at the guy, and smiled. He winked back at his friend before following the large group of 'gays' headed toward the area with three to four women holding clipboards. 

PJ ended up being in a separate group that would later merge together. Johnny had fun with teasing him across the eight feet of space that separated them. He can't recall a time where the guy ever blushed more, and he went through high school _and_ college with him. Means PJ must really.. well, he at least feels a strong physical attraction to the blond guy. Hopefully he'll end up liking his personality, too. 

Five, ten, fifteen minutes later found him sitting at a table for two by himself. He drummed his fingers against the wooden table as he patiently awaited the arrival of the first guy on the agenda. 

It happened to be a handsome, fairly well-built man with the name 'Matthew' neatly scrawled across his name tag in the same black magic marker as the one on his own. 

"Hey," Johnny greeted, standing up slightly to reach across the table and shake his hand. "I'm Johnny, as you can obviously tell from the name tag on my shirt.." 

"Heh, I'm Matthew, as you can obviously tell by my name tag. But you can call me Matt for short. I like it better that way." 

His hand lingered on Matt's for a second longer before he felt uncomfortable and let go. Sitting back down and covertly wiping it on his pants under the table. The man seemed nice, had very pretty eyes, and a great smile. But.. even though all they'd done so far was introduce themselves, he felt as though he wasn't the one. No, he wasn't holding out hope that he'd find the love of his life today, but at least someone he clicked with. And so far, Matt seemed to be someone who'd be a good friend at the most. Again, he had to remind himself to give the man a chance, wait until the five minute timer ran out. 

"So.. Matt, uh, what do you do for a living?" He asked, knowing it's better to start off simple than to rush right in and ask what he's looking for in a relationship, or something else that's equally as invasive. 

"I'm actually a high school English teacher. I teach high school students English.. Uh.. sorry, you?" the man chuckled nervously, reaching a hand in the pocket of his blue jeans and producing a hanky that he'd then blot his sweaty face with. 

"I'm.. I'm a, uh.." he paused, wondering if telling people he was an actor would cause any sort of change in the way they felt about him. Maybe he could just tell them he wrestled? But that would be a lie.. Would he want to chance starting a relationship based on lies? But what if telling them he was an up and coming actor would make them say yes all because they wanted to use h-

"Matthew! Baby, I am so sorry for leaving you.." is what broke Johnny out of his jumbled up thoughts. He glanced up from his lap to see a large, tatted up man charging right at his table and stopping when he got to Matt's side. Matt slowly got to his feet, turning to.. whoever the hell that guy who called him 'baby' was, and leaned in close to him only to slap him across the face. 

"Ooh!" Johnny winced, wondering whether it would be in his best interests to get to his feet and break up whatever it is was that was unfolding before his eyes, when all of a sudden Matt grabbed ahold of either side of the man's face and pulled him in for a deep and passionate kiss that got more and more heated as the man pulled him closer by the hips and let his hands wander.. 

Matt pulled away from the man after what felt like hours of them kissing and groping each other. "I fucking hate you, Vamp. You.. you left me, and it led me to coming _here_ , of all places, to try and get over your dumb ass! And now you're back, but you don't get to get me back." 

"Did you just quote a song? That is so sexy.." Said the man named 'Vamp', who was leaning in to kiss Matt once again, when his 'date' pressed a finger to his lips to keep him from doing so. 

"Did you not just hear what I said?! I hate you!" 

"Uh.. could you two please take this somewhere else? My five minutes are nearly up." Johnny interjected, only receiving just about the most terrifying death glare of his life from his speed date's ex...? Boyfriend. 

"You stay out of this, Hercules." Was what the terrifying, tatted up man came at him with before focusing on his ex.. boyfriend once again. "Baby, I am so, _so_ unbelievably sorry. I-I was just so stupid for ever thinking that I could live without you by my side. I love you more than anything, anyone, Matthew. And I just wanted to beg you to take me back. Please take me back, baby. I swear on my life I'll never leave you again."

Matt didn't budge one bit until Vamp got on his knees and held his hand tightly in both of his. Literally _begging_ to be taken back. It must've been an entire minute, and a lot of tears on Vamp's part, before Matt let out a shaky sigh and helped the older looking man to his feet. 

"Only if you promise to never take in another stray animal.. or human, for that matter. That- that guy with the face paint was just really weird." 

"Cross my heart and hope to die," replied the larger, paler man. 

"Then yes. I will take you back, honey." 

"I love it when you call me that, Matty." 

Johnny didn't know who did what first, but Matt ended up jumping onto Vamp. Legs wrapped around his middle, and arms wound around his neck as he was being carried off into the direction of the bathrooms.  
How very romantic of them. 

"Good luck finding yourself a man like mine, Joshy!" Matt shouted at him across the cantina. 

Damn, did he need a _drink_. 

His timer had a little over a minute left on it, so he decided to head over to the cantina and grab a fruity cocktail with a little umbrella in it as well as a slice of pineapple hanging off the brim of the cup. He was just getting back to his seat at the small table when a fairly tall Caucasian man with a mustache who looks like he belongs in a cheesy 80's porno sat down across from him. Not only was his upper lip hairy, but so was his chest. He had on a white short sleeved button-up, it being more than halfway unbuttoned and exposing the mass amounts of hair on his chest. That certainly was.. a look. Just not one that Johnny was particularly attracted to. But, again, he had to give him a chance. You never know, he could be the sweetest man in the w- 

"Ah, Jesus fuck you're hot." 

He blinked the hairy man back into focus, then blinked a few more times because what the hell is wrong with him? I mean, Johnny had definitely said similar things to people in his life, but it was always in a setting where it was acceptable. Like when he was at a bar, or a frat party and he wanted to pick someone up and take them back to his place for a night of fun. Why did this.. -he glanced down at his name tag- Joey guy think it was the right time and place to be verbally objectifying and sexualizing him? Sure, he thought a few of the guys around him were sexually attractive, but he wouldn't outright tell them! 

"Um.. right. Well, I'm Johnny, and I'm here looking for more of a.. partnership and less a one night stand. I'm not saying that's what you meant- but, uh, I just wanted you to know." 

"That's totally cool man. Like, I totally get where you're coming from, and I also want a relationship. Just.. let's get to talking before you start coming onto me so hard, jeez." 

So far, Joey seemed to be a bit of a.. not totally great guy. He was a bit rude, and came off as cocky and sleazy. But, Johnny wouldn't make any rash judgments or decisions until the timer runs out. Gritting his teeth and making a grab for his drink, he decided on asking Joey a few questions about himself. 

"So, what do you do for a living?" 

Joey's mouth opened and closed for a moment, making him look like a fish out of water. He seemed very hesitant to open up and tell Johnny about himself. What does he have to hide that he can't even tell him about his occupation? Maybe he _is_ a porn star, or a serial killer. Jeffery Dahmer? Is that him? 

"I'm.. I dabble in film, make a good sum. Uh.. what do you do for money? I mean work." 

Yup, he sure is a porn star. A gold digging one at that. 

"I.. I used to wrestle full time, but now it's more of a side job, and I'm focusing on my, uh, acting career at the moment." 

"Porn?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"You are a porn actor, right?" 

"No- not right," Johnny paused to toss the straw out of his drink and down half of it in one go. "I have acted in a couple of non-porn films and am hopefully going to land bigger roles in the near future. Enough about me, uh, what sort of film do you 'dabble in'?"

"Mostly the more.. exotic kinds, yeah." Joey said, choosing his words very carefully. A little too carefully if you asked Johnny. 

"Like.. I want to know right now; are you a porn star?" Johnny looked the hairy man directly in the eyes, searching for any sign of hesitancy or nervousness. He looked sweaty, almost like he'd oiled up his chest before coming out to mingle. The thought alone was enough for him to move his seat a couple of inches further from the table, the scraping sound nearly giving him a headache. 

"No...?" 

"Would you like to use the last couple of minutes on the timer to change your answer?" 

"Yes.." Joey scratched at the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but Johnny's. 

"You can leave now. Like, please get as far away from me as possible." Johnny said, sighing in relief when the creep got up from the chair across from him and began walking away. He most certainly didn't miss when the guy was standing not five feet away and stuck a hand down his heavily patterned board shorts, producing a purple lollipop with an unmistakable pubic hair stuck to it and popped it right into his mouth without a seconds hesitation. He nearly gagged to death at the sight and chugged the remnants of his cocktail to try and drown out the image. 

He flagged down a waitress to order some nachos before the next guy could come and most likely gross him out some more and turn him off from dating forever. He used the remaining minute on the clock to cross out the names of the two guys who dampened his mood. 

Next on the list was..


End file.
